Everyone loves a good dog, right? I mean, if you don’t, I don’t trust you. I don’t think you deserve my trust if you don’t love a good doggo. I know someone who loves good pups: Midnight Bride. She’s got herself a good little goblin faced, Steve Buscemi of a dog. She’s a sweet lil sprinkle-bear. She can’t help that she was born with the face of a bat and the body of a chihuahua. But I digress, we’re here to talk about a couple things like young love and more importantly and often over-looked, young hate. I think we need to bring young hate back. Young hate doesn’t get enough attention despite being like the crux of a lot of good 80’s movies. There’s always like a nemesis or a bully of some kind and they always get their comeuppance, right? Well, let’s see if this story does more of the same, cause there’s a chance this can be sad. I hope this isn’t sad. I hope this is nice and fun and full of young hate. Fuck young love. What can I say, I’m Aerosmith; aka JADED.

Good Dog(24:16) by Shannon Higdon

https://www.creepypasta.com/good-dog/

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What conclusion awaits us at the end of this thrilling chapter? Something trivial that will tie everything up way too nicely despite all the questions and remaining answers and issues are directly in front of our literal fingertips, right? No, again, no inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. Just Grimes. Just a big old bitch of a stone statue. The possibilities have been emptied with Ramses Vanderslice on today’s episode and as we come to an end, I can’t help but think that this is just Borrasca V all over again. This one just kinda ends out of nowhere for lack of circumstantial reasons, just like my relationship with my previously mentioned ex-girlfriend. I’m not gonna say it sucks. It doesn’t suck as bad as the last one. It’s hard to think that the same person who wrote part one and also wrote parts two and three, but here we are. I’m sure part three was thought up before part two was because it just moves better and tries its damndest to answer questions left by chapter one, but like… not in a great way. If you ask me, she should’ve just stayed home or moved on with her life after part one. This didn’t need a sequel. It’s like Prometheus or Alien Covenant. The Xenomorph is scarier when it’s not explained, just like Grimes. Stop milking Grimes. Let Grimes rest.

Death of Deepwoods, PA(17:04)

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What mysteries lie in the fictional town of Lannenberg(burg?) Pennsylvania? Who knows because it doesn’t actually exist and I’m confused as to why this is a plot point when it could have just taken place in Harrisburg. No inbred, redneck melon-heads. No old, garden variety homeless people. But yes, yes, a giant demon statue made of stone and sin called Metar- I mean -GRIMBUS. The possibilities are narrowing with Ramses Vanderslice on today’s episode and as the chapters go on, my hope dwindles further, just like my previously mentioned ex-girlfriend. This one sucks, and not in the same way and not in a good way. Why does this chapter exist - ah, yes - to pad the plot of what the next part is because that was clearly thought up before this part was. Huzzah. Mystery solved. Why is our character motivated to this degree? Who knows. Trauma apparently works that way, says the author, but Trauma don’t work that way says me - but I’m not an author, I’m just some asshole online. Enjoy!

Return to Deepwoods, PA(41:50)

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