ON BOYS Podcast

Di: Janet Allison Jennifer LW Fink
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  • Riassunto

  • Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
    2021 All Rights Reserved.
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Episodi
  • “Be A Man” Project Helps Us Understand Teen Boys

    “Be A Man” Project Helps Us Understand Teen Boys
    Sep 12 2024
    SheKnows’ “Be a Man” project is an “exploration of what it means to be a man today,” says Erika Janes, a “boy mom” and SheKnows editor-in-chief.Importantly, the project includes teen boys and gives them an opportunity to share their thoughts about manhood and masculinity. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the boys’ responses reflect our still-evolving understanding of gender. Crying, for instance, is still seen as a term with strongly feminine connotations, “but almost every boy we talked to said that they did cry,” Janes says. “They still feel like there’s a stigma to boys and men crying, but for the most part, almost of all of them said, ‘I cry at times.'”Boys, she says, “still get so many messages about traditional masculinity — ‘don’t cry, be strong, be a man.’ But they need to be allowed to express healthy emotion, to express vulnerability, to be able to cry and express sadness. We need to understand and accept that teen boys have all the same emotions as teen girls and that it’s healthier if they have outlets to express them.”Takeaways:The Be A Man project on She Knows provides a comprehensive look into the lives of teen boys, covering topics such as masculinity, mental health, and social media.It is important to include and listen to teen boys in conversations about their experiences and perspectives.Parents of boys may face challenges in understanding and raising boys, but it is important to provide support and guidance.The project aims to provide advice and resources for parents navigating these topics with their teen boys.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:We Asked 4 Teen Boys to Test New Fall Fragrances – Here’s What They Said – SheKnows articleThe Response to Tim Walz’s Son’s Proud Tears at the DNC is a Telling Look at Masculinity & Emotion — SheKnows articleHow Teen Boys View Male Celebrities & Masculinity, from Ryan Reynolds to Timothee Chalamet — SheKNow articleGender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS episode featuring Richard V. ReevesBoyMom Ruth Whippman on Reimaging Boyhood — ON BOYS episodeDr. Niobe Way on Reimagining Boys — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: LumenUnderstand your metabolism! Go to lumen.me/ONBOYS to save 15% on LumenSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Sponsor Spotlight: AvoilaSponsor Spotlight: Artifact Uprising1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYSSponsor Spotlight: IXLThe world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAYOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS* Check out Artifact Uprising and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: www.artifactuprising.com* Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: byheart.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: www.ixl.com* Check out Lumen: lumen.me/ONBOYSAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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    43 min
  • What’s the Goal of Youth Sports?

    What’s the Goal of Youth Sports?
    Sep 5 2024
    What is the goal of youth sports? It seems like an obvious question with an obvious answer. Isn’t the goal to provide kids with an opportunity to play sports? And to develop skills, teamwork, and camaraderie along the way?Historically, those were indeed the goals of youth sport. Many parents & kids still pursue those goals. But some parents & players have other goals: A scholarship. College admission. The youth sports industry also has a goal: To make money.Pay-to-PlayMany of today’s youth sports team use a pay-to-play model: parents pay (often exorbitant amounts) for their kids to play. Some youth sports organizations frame this cost as an “investment” and mention ROI — return on investment — on their websites. The required investment isn’t only financial; parents & families now invest a lot of time into sports practices, games, & tournaments.“What used to be very much a youth-driven activity has changed into more of an adult-driven model,” says Jean Linscott, co-author of What is the Goal?: The Truth About the Youth Sports Industry. And because the adults have invested so much, they have an incentive to keep kids playing. This, Jean says, “is an enormous difference from playing for fun and playing for the love of the game.”The first thing young parents should understand, if they’re considering signing a child up for a pay-to-play team, is that “this is a lifestyle choice,” says Kenneth Ruoff, Jean’s husband & co-author. “They should be putting aside 40 weekends a year for the next 10 years if you stick with pay-to-play sports through the high school years.”Sadly, there’s no strong evidence to suggest that this investment of time & money is beneficial to most families or athletes. “We talked to a lot of the top coaches in Oregon and they basically burst out laughing when we asked them if travel tournaments had any role in player development,” Ken says. “They said, ‘No, it’s ridiculous; they have no role, especially at the younger ages.’ So all that money that is being spent on travel tournaments is playing no role in developing the kids as athletes.”The Unacknowledged Costs of Youth SportsBecause of the tremendous costs associated with many youth sports teams, many kids do not have an opportunity to play or participate. And many children who do play experience physical and mental injuries, in part because they begin playing so young and often play year-’round.“The impact of this model means that there are big problems with overuse injuries and burnout,” Jean says.”Early specialization in sports is disastrous for the bodies and minds of children,” Ken adds.Unfortunately, in many places, there aren’t viable alternatives to the current pay-to-play youth sports model. Rec teams have faded or disappeared due to lack of funding and coaches. School teams may or may not be an option – but in many places, if a young athlete doesn’t also play on a travel team, they have little chance of earning a spot on a school team.Questions to Ask Before Signing for a Travel TeamBefore signing your child up for a pay-to-play, elite, or travel team, Jean says you should ask these “important, tough” questions:Do you track injury rates? What types of injuries are most common?Do you conduct exit interviews when families leave the club? What are the primary reasons athletes & families leave?What is your youth athlete development model?Be forewarned, however. Asking these questions does not guarantee that you’re doing to get a straight answer. It’s also a good idea to talk to a number of families who have been involved with the club or team, including those who no longer participate.Takeaways:The likelihood of receiving a college scholarship through youth sports is extremely low, and parents should consider alternative ways to fund their child’s education.Extricating oneself from the youth sports system can be challenging, but it is important to prioritize the well-being and interests of the child.Questioning the youth sports industry and advocating for affordable and inclusive options is crucial for the overall development of children.The emphasis on elite athletes and the pressure to participate in pay-to-play clubs can exclude many children and create unrealistic expectations.Sportswear companies play a role in the youth sports industry, but their focus on profit and exclusivity can hinder accessibility and development.Preferential admission for athletes in higher education perpetuates the socioeconomic elite and needs to be reevaluated.Parents have the power to ask questions, challenge the status quo, and advocate for changes that prioritize the well-being and enjoyment of youth sports.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:What is the Goal?: The Truth About the Youth Sports Industry, by Jean Linscott & Kenneth RuoffWhole Child Sports: An Alternative to Toxic Youth Sports Culture — ON BOYS episodeLinda Flanagan: Youth Sports ...
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    55 min
  • Back to School w a 5th Grade Teacher

    Back to School w a 5th Grade Teacher
    Aug 29 2024
    It’s back-to-school time! What does this time of year look like for you & your family? Does your son dread back-to-school? Do you? Or, do you welcome that start of a new school year?Rob Vaughn, a 5th grade teacher, is one of the (too) few male elementary school teachers in the United States.Masculinity in 5th gradeWhen we asked Rob about his experiences in school when he was a boy, he told us, “I was a different kind of boy.” He says he wasn’t a “sporty jock,” but “quiet,” “introverted,” and “nerdy.” He remembers being shy and feeling overwhelmed.The boys in his class exhibit a broad range of masculinity. There are the “dude” and “jocks,” Rob says, and at least as many boys how are “not stereotypical boys.” These guys like video games and stuffed animals, imaginative play, and art. They are sensitive — and so are the boys who like sports.Kids today, he says, aren’t as strictly adhering to gender roles as kids were a generation ago.“I’m finding that boys and girls are working together really well & openly, at least in my school,” Rob says. “Some of them are really great friends & some of the boys are really into ‘girl stuff.’ And they’re good at talking about their feelings!”He is working to overcome lingering biases left over from his own childhood. Rob has noticed that his brain often thinks “tough kid” when he sees a boy in football gear, for instance. “I need to remember that they are still little kids and they are sensitive – even though they are acting like the celebrities they see,” he says.He’s noticed boys emulating the behavior of online influencers and celebrities, including in less-than-desirable ways, such as arguing with referees or reacting with over-the-top rage when they lose a game. “It’s almost like there are little boys who are trying to be men, only the men they’re trying to be aren’t actualy men; they’re parodies of men that we’re seeing on social media.”5th grade boys, Rob says, are grappling with “who am I? and who am I supposed to be?” at the same time they’re “dealing with hurt feelings and missing their mom.”At the 5th grade level, boys tend to be less physically and emotionally mature than their female counterparts. At that age, boys are “not at a stage where they want to sit and discuss big ideas for as long” as the female students, Rob says. The boys, he says, “are operating at a level that’s a little sillier & younger.”Teaching boys and girls together — and honestly talking about development and challenges — can enhance understanding and empathy.Takeaways:Creating a sense of community in the classroom and giving students responsibilities can enhance their learning experience.Setting high expectations for students and empowering them to make choices can help build their independence.Fifth grade is a critical stage of development, with students experiencing the beginning stages of puberty and undergoing brain remodeling.Boys and girls in fifth grade are not always adhering to traditional gender roles, and they are grappling with societal expectations and their own identities.Social-emotional learning is an important aspect of the curriculum, focusing on skills such as empathy, communication, and self-awareness. Boys and girls may have different levels of maturity and focus in the classroom, with boys often being more active and playful.Societal expectations and media portrayals of masculinity can influence boys’ behavior and attitudes towards girls.Teaching boys about consent and respect for girls is crucial in creating a safe and inclusive environment.Parents and educators play a vital role in shaping boys’ behavior and attitudes towards girls.Building a strong foundation of respect and empathy in the early years can help boys navigate societal pressures and develop into confident and respectful men.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Where Are All the Male Teachers? — Good Men Project articleLisa Damour on the Emotional Lives on Teens — ON BOYS episodeMale Role Models — BuildingBoys post about male Olympians in the 2024 Summer OlympicsGender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS podcast featuring Richard V. Reeves (which coverrs redshirting boys in school)Erin’s Law — more info on the law that mandates child sexual abuse preventionMark Rober — YouTuber Rob mentioned during our conversationSponsor Spotlight: AvoilaUse code ONBOYS to save 10% when you shop Avoila Nourishing Face Oil Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Armoire: armoire.style/ONBOYS* Check out Artifact Uprising and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: www.artifactuprising.com* Check out ByHeart and use my code ONBOYS for a great deal: byheart.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: www.ixl.com* Check out Lumen: lumen.me/ONBOYSAdvertising Inquiries: https://...
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    43 min
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